Another Reason For God Not Letting Me Attend She Speaks

I find that I’m wimbly-wambly sometimes. I want what I want, and it’s usually well after not getting a “Yes” from God that I find out the reasons he said “No.”

I thought I knew the soul reason for my not attending She Speaks: We’re buying a house and the money that would have been used for travel is being used for down payment.

But it seems that God has another reason too.

We’ve just found out that my father-in-awe will have an unexpected heart bypass at 6 AM on Friday morning. We’re packing now to make the run back up to their house so that we can be there for the surgery and to take care of the kids. I foresee a weekend of cooking and cleaning to help make this time as easy as possible for them all. I think another cooking class or two for The Girl is in perfect order too.

See? If I had been at She Speaks, I either would have had my thoughts divided between the sessions and this surgery (and guilt over not going to be with them) or I would have lost all the money invested because I did decide to stay home. That’s a lose-lose situation by all accounts. So God, in his infinite wisdom, yet again proved why Father knows best.

I know that many of you will be gone, but would you mind saying some prayers for us? Please pray for our safety in travels and also for my father-in-awe to come through the surgery with flying colors. The doctors are giving a survival rate in the high 90’s%, but I’d rather have 100% from the one who made his sweet heart in the first place.

Oh, and would you mind throwing in a prayer of praise on my behalf as well? Today I also received a call from my doctor who told me that it’s official: I don’t have cervical cancer. (I didn’t think I did, but it’s nice to know that modern technology is backing me up.) So WOO HOO! It’s nice to have that off my plate. I’m just really happy that God let me know quickly the answer that prayer.

Thank you so much in advance.

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If At First You Don’t Succeed – Gratituesday 11

It’s time for a little shout out to the Lord, so you know that it must be Gratituesday, where one can be vocally thankful for something in life.

Last week, I had begged for votes because I’m nothing if not shameless. As a result of the An Island Life poll, I was not picked Most Likely To Succeed. However, when the winning blog is named Praying For Parker, I find that I don’t mind taking backseat to a site that is giving everything to God.

Hello?! Diner vs. Prayer? Prayer trumps anything that I could serve up.

I can honestly say that it was a pleasure just to be named.

Not winning isn’t necessary a bad thing. I have a renewed energy with the blog. It was so encouraging to hear from others about how much they enjoyed the blog or, more importantly, me. You guys are good for my soul. And there is a sense of joy in knowing that someone out there thought enough about this blog that they anonymously threw my name in the hat.

That makes me smile from ear to ear.

So I’m thankful right now that I didn’t win the poll because I know overall that I’m still in the company of some mighty fine women and men who like me with or without a title. Plus with the win would have come some good disciplining from God. I’m sure I would have swelled with pride a time or 22 just thinking about it.

(And really, I could do without the pressure of having to live up to that category. I’m gonna fail left and right for the rest of my life… and it’s all good.)

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Gratituesday 7

It’s time for a little shout out to the Lord, so you know that it must be Gratituesday, where one can be vocally thankful for something in life.

Why is it that I constantly need reminders as to how good God is? I mean, I know he is good, but somewhere along the way, I forget his promises for his children. Then I start thinking about how hopeless things seem, how much of we need to get by and what we don’t have, knowing that things are going to be mighty tough soon.

On Thursday, I started nagging Mr. Right about his lack of follow-through that may help us in the long run. Then I thought about the medical bills that we can’t pay at this moment, the ones that are coming up and lots of lean times and creative accounting to make sure that we can get by until some unknown, long-lost relative passes and leaves us a small inheritance to pay these bills. In other words, things were looking bleak in my eyes.

By bedtime, I could feel my heart racing and my worries growing to epic proportions. I was moody, exasperating to Mr. Right and depressed. After one long big sigh, I realized that I couldn’t keep it in, so I turned to Mr. Right and said, “Mr. Right, can I just tell you that I’m struggling with a bunch of financial worries. I know I shouldn’t be feeling this at all, but I can’t stop!” Mr. Right in all his wisdom, grabbed my hand and said, “Then let’s read.” He didn’t try to take the place of God and make things better. He loved me with all my fears and sought to offer relief for me. I know that he started praying for me too. And my spirit felt more at ease immediately. I even had a full night’s sleep, something that I thought would evade me when I was in my panic mode.

The next day when I was looking at our bank account online, the account balances page showed an incredibly high amount in our checking account. Surely this must be a big mistake! I opened the checking account to find that our IRS “bonus” check was electronically deposited to a tune of triple of what we expected, just enough to cover the present bills and the ones that will be coming in a month. I immediately called Mr. Right to tell him about this blessing, and I just started bawling. Once again, it was as if God said to me, “See? I know your heart, silly girl. Now quit your useless worrying and find something worthwhile to do. I’ve got everything under control. Just trust me.”

Throw in the fact that HE sold our house since the time I’ve written this post, and I can really see God smiling and shaking his head at me and my doubts. O me of little faith… I can only hope that God will continually help me in my unbelief.

So it’s for mercy and grace that I’m extremely thankful, not to mention God’s excellent sense of humor. When God says that he’s got it, He does, even if I can’t see it.

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Simply Amazing

You know what amazes me the most about this world? That it’s not as standoffish or closed-off as it seems at times. Y’all amaze me with your offers of encouragement, support and readiness to pray for someone across the web. I don’t mean just for me either. Kelli, Heather, missionaries, tsunami/tornado/earthquake/hurricane survivors, Compassion… Y’all are not even picky about for whom you’ll pray. Thank you for your sweet embraces. You all have made me smile quite a bit lately.

You know what else amazes me? The way that God continually shows his power.

Take Mr. Right’s bout with melanoma. Only God could orchestrate such a situation that encouraged not only us, but our friends as well. We’ve been able to share that story, giving God all the glory for his protection.

Take when Mr. Right being let go from his job not even a month after we bought our house. God showed his hand of protection those few months that he was searching. Twice someone stepped up and anonymously paid our mortgage. We had more food to eat than we ever could eat. It seemed that we had more money in the bank than we did when Mr. Right was employed, all because of the outpouring of support and love from our friends and the church. When we would profuse our thanks to anyone, I can’t tell you how many times we heard, “Stop right there. You don’t know what a blessing it is to me to be able to do this for you. Thank you for letting me serve God through you.” Wow. Talk about eye-opening. This lack of job stuff had more going on behind the scenes than we realized!

Take our house being on the market. When we put it on the market last year, we had this feeling that God was telling us to sell. Okay, Mr. Right had the feeling. I was pouting in the corner about selling my home. But God is good at using situations that deal with the physical world to make big changes in our hearts. Soon I came to see that selling the house wasn’t about me and my wants at all. It’s about trusting God to lead us and following whenever he calls. That lesson was totally worth the breaking of my selfish spirit and letting me see a bigger view.

Take the crummy agent (unbeknownst to us) who brought no clients nor advertisement. Our clean place saw a few visitors, but not many. When the basement had seepage after a huge rain (and we’re on a hill, y’all!), we pulled it off the market thinking that maybe we misheard God’s directions. Then we received enough money to fix the basement, buy a sump pump and replace the old carpet with a much better carpet. Due to some wonderful networking and finding a quality workman who made bids at a fraction of the cost of other workmen, we were able to save about 4K to throw into savings.

Next our insurance agent came out for something or other, and while there, he asked if we received any money for the hail that came through our area. After replying that we received a letter from his offers that basically said, “Don’t even think about asking for money because we told you that roof had to be replaced when you bought it,” he said that we must have read that letter wrong and that he would send an inspector our right away. By the end of the week, we had half the money to pay for the new roof. The other half was the from the money we saved from using the carpet guy. So we had a new basement and a new roof in no time, with little money out of our pocket.

This March we were still feeling the directive to put the house on the market. Many people around here said, “I don’t know about this market… You might want to wait,” or “You’re selling it yourself? Are you crazy? You need someone who has the buyers to show your house. Well, good luck with that.”

We always reply that if God wants it sold, he’ll sell it no matter what the market looks like. Our God, he’s the God of all things impossible. He likes to flex his muscles when he knows it seems like that there is not good end possible.

So, anyone want to guess what happened this weekend?

Let me give you a hint: we spent all day yesterday (after church, of course) looking at houses…

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Gratituesday 4

It’s time for a little shout out to the Lord, so you know that it must be Gratituesday, where one can be vocally thankful for something in life.

I’m so grateful that there is an entire family of believers around the world.

You don’t have to live next door to someone to be a member, nor do you have to look remotely the same or even speak the same language. All that’s needed is to have the belief in Christ. God, who is Love, will take care of the rest.

I find that simply, utterly, beautifully amazing.

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In The Space Of A Few Hours

Yesterday morning on my way to work, I was praying about being led by God’s hand, that I would follow his lead willingly and be of use to him as he wanted, not how I wanted. I was asking to help me take myself out of any equation so that he could be the only right answer.

The morning proceeded normally. I ran by Panera’s for a continental breakfast for a meeting. I made it to the meeting place in great time. Everything went beautifully, for my part at least. Then I headed back to the office until it was time for me to set up lunch for the group.

I thought I might as well use that time wisely (for me) to swing through the drive-thru at my bank to deposit one of our state refund checks.

While at the window, I turned into a teenager. And I don’t mean that I looked youthful and weighed only 85 lbs like I did back then. I mean it in the way that you want to slap some 16 year old silly if they acted that way to you.

When attempting to deposit the check, the teller very politely said, “Mrs. Shalee (she used my last name of course, but I’m not going to advertise it here even though I’m sure you could never find anything about me with such a common name like Shalee…), I’m sorry, but I will need your husband’s signature on the check since his name is on the front as well.” Really she was as sweet as could be.

Me? I did the biggest eye-roll ever known to man. I’m amazed that I didn’t injure myself with the stretching of optic nerves that I did at that moment. It was a fantastic expression of impatience, annoyance and self-pity all in one movement. I’d have slapped myself if I could have seen me.

The teller? She said, “I’m sorry, Mrs. Shalee… I just don’t want to make a mistake on a government check.”

Do you want to know what brilliant words came from my mouth? “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” (Sigh) “I’ll be back later after I get his signature. Thank you.” And then I took my check and drove off.

My very first thought was, “Well there was a fabulous example to Christ, don’t you think, Shalee?” Remembering her name from her tag and I thought, “Sule probably would have preferred to see God and you totally got in the way again, Shalee.” And I wanted to park the car and go apologize to her for my rude behavior.

But I didn’t. I can be such an idiot sometimes.

I returned to the office to work for a bit, left to set up lunch and then continued on my way to meet with Mr. Right for lunch since I would be driving right by his work. While waiting for the light to turn on the interstate, I noticed a homeless person standing on the median, holding a cardboard sign that said, “Please help me. I’m homeless and anything will help me SURVIVE.”

As I waited for that light, I had multiple thoughts run through my mind as I avoided looking at him.

• I never have money on me.
• Why is he standing on that corner? He looks completely capable of working.
• What would cause someone to succumb to panhandling for money?
• He probably won’t use it for what it should be used for…
• Is he cold?
• Will this light ever change?

And as I waited for the light to turn green, I actually turned to look at him. He looked downcast, embarrassed to be there, broken, not making eye contact with any of the drivers. And I realized that all of my thoughts were meaningless in the scheme of things. Here was a person asking for help from anyone who would give it.

I quickly pulled out my wallet to see if I had anything to give. And there I found some forgotten Christmas money that I had left over from a recent purchase. I grabbed it quickly, as the light had just changed. I rolled down the window and extended my hand to him and said, “If you’ll come quickly, I’d like to help.”

Amazed that someone had noticed him, he stumbled for a moment and then ran to the window. He smiled a beautiful smile. “Right on! Oh, thank you! God bless you!” Those were the words I heard as I sped up to make my turn.

Driving down the interstate, I burst out into crying. Was it the loss of the money? Was it that that man was standing there needing help and I was the only one to see him? Was it that this is a broken world that we cannot fix by money alone? Was it because I know that I can behave so badly one moment and then be better the next? I really don’t know why I was bawling. It just felt like the right response.

And as I recalled his words, “God bless you!”, I realized that he does. Every single day. In ways that surprise me and make me want to know him all the more as he’s taking me from a selfish, inconsiderate twit in the morning to a kinder, open-handed person by the afternoon.

It was a direct answer to the prayer I prayed that morning. God took me out of the way and made himself known, at least to one man standing in the middle of the road.

And I have to tell you, I liked losing myself.

I liked it a lot.

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I Call Dibs On Sitting By Her In Heaven…

Guess what family just got a little bigger….

Yours, I hope!

Say hello to your new sister.

There is no greater joy for a mother than this moment!

The angels are rejoicing in Heaven…  What a glorious day Friday turned out to be!

Would you mind saying a salutation to The Girl, your new sister in Christ? (But I wouldn’t recommend that you pull the old “Now go around the room and tell everyone’s name bit” yet… Give her a week and then pull it on her.)

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